When we are talking about subjects such as "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Can you relate to women?", I often get asked about the best way to begin getting physical with a girl that you have known as a friend for some time.

Getting physical is something which generally occurs naturally between a guy and a girl over a three month period unless one or both of them is really uncomfortable on disinterested.

When a man is uncomfortable with approaching a girl for a physical relationship, the main thing which a guy could do to handle that is learn how to observe and use gradients.

Exactly what are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder which you climb to get to the top. A few guys might try to head to the top of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uncomfortable and also the guy.

A guy who is not comfortable in this area ought to learn both how to identify gradients when women make use of them and how to use gradients on women.

Not all women will start at the same gradient. A few women will begin with a kiss after a first date, and proceed steadily or rapidly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and finally to sexual relations. If a man tries to leap to the "sexual relations" stage without going through the other gradients, he may just lose the girl. Conversely, you may lose a girl as you are moving up the gradients too slowly.

Now other girls won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her might be: getting to know you, talking about sexual subjects indirectly (for example commiserating regarding an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (bumping into you while you go walking), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm while you walk, holding your hand, and then a goodnight kiss.

If you are uncomfortable with this area and wish to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, observe where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then take her up the gradients gently. So long as you don't by pass way too many gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or slowly depending on her personality.

If she is not interested, she probably won't move up. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't budge, try speaking about it. Ask her if she is interested in a relationship with you or if she only wants to be good friends.

Don't forget that most girls won't go out on a "date" with you unless they are already vaguely okay with the concept of getting physical with you. Thus you might want to make clear if you are dating or just "chilling out."

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